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Rise Up! Newsletter

September 2012

In This Issue:

Quote of the Month:

"The situation is hopeless but not serious."

~Paul Watzlawick

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www.BobbieMcMorrow.com

Message From Bobbie:

As the lazy days of summer wind down and we head into fall, I find myself dreaming of carefree days on a California beach - maybe in another life!

Here's my reality: a sizeable deal gets delayed and seeps into the break I need so badly. One of my biggest clients suddenly goes into bankruptcy, owing me an excessive amount of money. A beloved grandchild is in need of additional medical support. Welcome to my world, surely familiar if you're a woman in America in 2012.

The question is how to make life work when change comes at us so frequently.

The answer that has continued to work for me and that I teach to others is this: Choose Transformation! Do not resist change. Do not cling to the past. Learn to harness the power of transformation and find possibility and opportunity in each and every experience.

Featured Journal Entry:

Change Is Inevitable, Transformation is a Choice!

Marie was deeply embarrassed and close to tears when she called. "I have everything I ever wanted, am so excited and yet worried about the changes turning my reality upside down.

Who am I becoming in the midst of all this? Will all this change turn sour and difficult just as fast as it brought good?"

Change is inevitable! Sometimes, we change willingly and sometimes change is forced upon us. An element of Fear often comes with change. The first step to find possibility, opportunity and joy in the midst of change, crisis, or even chaos, is to understand the role fear plays and not allow it to dominate your process. This takes practice, but once we move beyond fear, Change becomes the catalyst and Transformation becomes the tool to turn any experience into opportunity!

Marie was an account executive with a leading advertising agency in New York. She had, within recent months, gotten everything she wished for: a handsome, successful husband; a new, fully decorated apartment on the Upper West Side; and the surprise (but at almost forty years old the blessing) of a pregnancy.

She said to me, "Part of me wants to say, ‘Hey Marie! Get over yourself and be happy or at least deal!' Half the women on the planet would want your life! The other part of me is saying, ‘I can't do this, I’m not ready, I am out of control!'"

It’s wise to acknowledge that as humans, we have a powerful need for certainty, surety and safety. We crave assurance that our world can be set right, that obligations are not beyond our grasp and can be met. When change disrupts our need for certainty, our first reaction is typically fear. This reactive fear makes us cling to the past, or resist and deny the change. These reactions do not serve our best interests; they keep us stuck fighting against an impossible force.

Once stuck, we can't move or act on new patterns. We forget how to dream, imagine opportunities or assess real-life possibilities. We lose the power of living in the natural flow of events. If we accept that change is constant and don't allow fear to dictate our behavior, then the choice to transform will present itself. Possibility and opportunity can be imagined, strategies can be designed, and plans can be executed.

My advice to Marie is my advice to you:

Acknowledge that change is inevitable. Don't push it away or run from it.

Refuse to be captured by the fear that naturally comes with change.

Reassess your changing reality. Ask what’s real and what’s not. In Marie's case, it was true the friendships that had sustained her while she was single were changing, but it was not true that they cared any less for each other.

Celebrate the possibilities available to you. In her new busy life, Marie wanted to make sure she had time for her girlfriends. So the group decided to start a book club that kept all the women in touch, even if they didn't see each other as often anymore.

Change is Inevitable, Transformation is a Choice!

Here is a simple, powerful exercise to help you get started.

Featured Exercise:

Try A Little Self-Analysis: Think about something in your life that is changing and causing you stress: work, relationships, health, etc. Now go through the following steps.

  1. Recognize your own courage and insight! Pat yourself on the back for being willing to explore change and fear.
  2. Write a list of what you fear you will lose when this inevitable (scary) change occurs. Go ahead, GO for it! No one has to see it but you. BE REAL. We mostly fear loss of self (old self!) in some way (i.e.: "If this change occurs, my friends will no longer count me as one of them…it is scary to feel like I might be in the world alone.”)
  3. BURN THE LIST! Really, burn it with fire! Burning the list is symbolic of FEAR DESTROYED! It works on an instinctive level to separate us from fear and open us to possibility and new opportunity.
  4. Now make a second list of all the POSSIBILITIES and OPPORTUNITIES that will arise from this new reality. If you’re struggling to see them, start small: "I can work for that other company but it’s farther away - then I can listen to the books-on-tape I’ve been neglecting!" Every experience is an opportunity if you are willing to look at it with all your heart and imagination.
  5. Now go back to Number 1 above and do it again. Do it as often as you can to help you choose transformation rather than be stuck in fear and in resistance and denial of inevitable change!

About Bobbie

In 2011, on a beautiful ranch in Santa Ynez, California, Bobbie created her “Rise Up!” movement as a means of empowering women to create the lives, relationships and careers that they were meant to have. It was named after Bobbie’s ability to find possibility and opportunity in the midst of change and even crisis. Through one-on-one sessions and group workshops that she has done since 2008 Bobbie has helped participants reach their own epiphanies. Read more...

 

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